Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

I can not believe that my baby is 2 already! It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home and he was a little baby...now he is already like a little man. He has learned So much this year and amazes me everyday. He says over 150 words clearly and also uses 5-6 word sentences regularly. He loves singing and his favorite songs are: ABCs, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Old McDonald. He is just amazing. This year has brought about a lot of changes for Micah and he has taken everything with ease. He could have regressed and been jealous of his new siblings coming home, but he was more than happy to share the spotlight that had shone only on him. He chose to instead love them, play with them and even learn a few words in Amharic and Kreyol (which he uses correctly and can tell you what they mean in English as well!). He learned to crawl this year :) that is funny because he walked before he was 1, but never crawled until 18 months. He has a LOVE for Jesus and says his own prayers to Baby Jesus every day(Baby Jesus because Christmas is when his true Love began!). I am so proud of Micah and could not Love him more. God has truly blessed me and I am Lucky to be able to call him my son. Happy 2nd Birthday Micah. I look forward to what this year will hold! Melissa

Crawling in the Right Direction

I have not talked a lot about all the feelings I have had over the past few weeks with the changes that have come into our lives. I have had a lot of trouble adjusting to our new life's and what has all come about. Things have been so different with Jean Delson's arrival home than with the other kids. When I met Jean Delson in 2007, he was 22 months old and I fell in Love with his smile and loving, caring way about him. Then when we chose to put his adoption on hold I chose to totally remove myself from the Haiti adoptions all together, for me it had to be a clean break. It was so heartbreaking to have to walk away, but it was what was best for everyone at the time.

When we met Micah it was instant love for all of us. He instantly became attached and wanted no one but me or Scott to hold him and care for him. My love for him has only grown stronger with everyday that passes.

The first time I saw Sitota's picture and the video of her crawling from a tube telling us her name and waving it was Love at first sight. Meeting her just made my heart filled with joy and it was like I had found the missing link for our family.

We were just starting to adjust being a family of 4 and we were happy in thinking our family was complete....then we got the news that Jean Delson could come home. All the feelings from our meeting him years ago started to take over...problem was Jean Delson was no longer that 22 month old little lover, he had turned into a 4.5 year old little man who had lived the past four years in an orphanage where he basically ran free. He knew no boundaries, was not used to structure and we had no real way to communicate. There was No instant Love for this child and I began to doubt my ability to parent him. I just did not know how to get through the wall and it was sucking every ounce of my energy and I found myself hating getting up everyday to go through all the struggle. I also found I could not bond with him at all because it felt like I was just taking care of the problem someone else had created. I talked with a lot of people and tried searching for new techniques and answers. I needed to be able to find a way to get through to him for both of our sakes.

This week I have FINALLY made some progress. I found a way of doing time outs to correct bad behaviors that actually works and today we had the first time out free day since he has been home. We had him evaluated for Head Start (preschool) and he should be able to start 4 half days a week soon. I have been able to find several things that he likes to do that actually give me a few minutes of free time during the day. And most importantly...tonight while I was praising him for the great day we had he gave he a hug and I actually started to feel something for the little boy I had fallen in love with years ago. I know that we still have a LONG way to go and there will be steps back along the way, but today was the first day I started to fall back in LOVE and it felt good!!! Melissa

Poopy in the Potty

Not to get gross on you all, but Micah went poopy in the potty for the first time tonight! He is not even 2!!! He looked a little scared at first, but then we all praised him and he got a special piece of candy. Now he will proudly announce, "Micah go poop on the potty!". Gotta Love that boy!
In other news, Jean Delson was evaluated for Head Start today and they should be accepting him into their 4 year old program soon. He will go Mon-Thurs from 8-12. It will be good for him to get into a real learning environment that can prepare him for school next year. It will also be nice to have a little one on one time with Micah. - Melissa

Snowed In

It has become increasingly harder to think of things to keep the boys occupied during the day especially with the cold weather. I was talking with my good friend Kara who had some Great ideas that I have been trying. One idea was that since it was too cold to play outside, why not bring the snow inside. What could it hurt, it is only water after all!?!?!?! I went outside and gathered 2 huge bowls of snow and got out plates, spoons, bowls, and lots of other misc utensils. Let's just say that they LOVED it and I got to have 20 minutes to get the dishes done and go through the mail. Here are some pics of the FUN. - Melissa

Going Private

We got an email from our placing agency for Jean Delson today that was Very disturbing. Someone, we do not know, had apparently read our blog and misinterpreted several things and is trying to cause problems. Fortunately, there was a lot of mis-truth in her email and other things mentioned were already handled by our agency and cleared with USCIS before Jean Delson was issued his humanitarian visa. So that is the short version of why this is private, if you know of someone who would like permission to view this blog, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email! Thanks all - Melissa

First week as Five

If I had to sum up our first week as a family of five the word would be CHALLENGING! Don't get me wrong, there were some good times too but a lot of the week was spent crying, questioning, and praying. Thankfully we have had the support of a lot of our family and friends, even people at church that we did not know prior to this journey. Jean Delson (we will be calling him Delson as that is what he likes) came home with a few health problems such as a sinus infection and Giardia (which is a parasite). He is on meds now and they seem to be helping. He also has a lot of behavior issues that we are trying to work on. He is literally jumping off the walls all day, pushing over the furniture, running into the doors, throwing everything from toys to chairs and also has decided that he does not want to sleep. We have tried sitting with him by his bed, holding him, singing with him....last night finally after he screamed for 30 minutes with everything we tried we had to rock him and then was able to sneak him in his bed only for him to wake 4 hours later..... Needless to say it has been a struggle.

Sitota continues to do wonderful. She is doing great in school and just seems to do so well to the change. She trys to be very helpful with the boys, although I make sure to let her know that I can/will do the things for them so she does not feel like she has to "mother" them. I want her to have her childhood. She is doing great at learning to read and is speaking a LOT of English now. There are very few things she will not eat, which is nice and she now enjoys taking hot lunch with the other girls. It is fun to hear her talk about her friends :)

Micah is going to be 2 at the end of the month and it shows! He is in to everything! We have resorted to putting locks on the fridge and stove to keep him from going in them constantly. He is testing his boundaries, which is normal. He remains very active and talkative...boy does he talk a lot.

Scott and I are trying to remain strong and support each other. He was recently ill, which proved to be difficult for both of us but lucky it only lasted 2 days. I have a cold and am very tired, but I know that this will pass and things will work out. We are going through a very challenging time, but with the grace of God and the help of family and friends we will make it through and grow stronger! Better run the popcorn is almost gone and I will need to start running around again...I really enjoyed this 10 minutes of rest :)Melissa

0-3 in 13 months...how that happens...

Our journey to family definitely had a lot of twists and turns. It is also a hard story to explain to people unless they have about 4 hours of free time (which I know I DON'T). Anyhow, my brother sent out the following email as a plea to people in his computer group and I thought he did a better job explaining our journey than I could. Thanks Chris for letting me post your words!
"I apologize for taking this platform off-topic, but I have a personal story and plea that I want to share... Several years ago, my sister and her husband found out that they couldn't have biological children of their own. After searching their hearts, they decided that international adoption was the best choice for them. In 2006, they found an agency and they began to pursue the adoption of a Haitian infant, a young boy named Jean Delson. Unfortunately the Haitian adoption process is slow moving and the rules were quite volatile. For every one step forward it seemed they took two steps backward. Throughout the long process, they kept in contact with the orphanage in Haiti. They sent clothes, toys, birthday gifts... they even visited Haiti in April of 2007. Soon 2007 became 2008, and the process ground to a halt. Haiti had put a new rule in place, they wanted all adoptive families to be married for 10 years, and it would be years before my sister and her husband could meet that requirement. After much praying and soul searching, in July of 2008 they made the hardest choice of their lives, they chose to terminate their contract with the adoption agency, opening up the possibility that some other family could adopt Jean Delson. Without that chance, Jean Delson would definitely be stuck in an orphanage for years and years, but now he had a chance at another family taking him in. Shortly after, through a different agency my sister and her husband were matched with an Ethiopian infant named Micah, and in December of 2008 they already had Micah home. In 2009, they decided their family wasn't yet complete and they decided to adopt an Ethiopian girl named Sitota. They arrived back in the US with her on January 3, 2010. Then the earthquake hit Haiti. My sister, her husband, and our whole family scrambled for information on what happened to Jean Delson and the other children and staff at the orphanage. Eventually news trickled out that they all survived, but Haiti was in bad shape. Then on Thursday January 21, not even three weeks after getting Sitota home, the original adoption agency called my sister and her husband. You see, nobody else had ever been matched with Jean Delson. The Haitian government had cleared the way, allowing the children with in progress adoptions out of Haiti. All the red tape had been cut. Technically my sister and her husband were still matched with Jean Delson, just waiting for their marriage to hit the 10 year mark. The catch was, they were Jean Delson's only hope, and the agency only had hours to wait for an answer. Would they like to adopt Jean Delson and bring him out of Haiti? Now, my sister and her husband were not prepared for this at all. They hadn't heard anything on their case in over a year and a half, and they had just brought home Sitota weeks ago. They didn't have a bed, clothes, toys, or even a vehicle big enough for three children and two adults. They were strained financially from the adoption of Sitota and getting the things she needed. Yet, how could they say no? For years they've held Jean Delson in their hearts, loving him. They had made a huge sacrifice in 2008 by giving him a chance with another family, hopefully not having to wait for years and years until the Haitian government would approve their adoption. But he hadn't been, and now they faced this decision. It was a crazy situation - going from the parents of one child to the parents of three in the course of 3 weeks, but what else could they do? They said yes. Yesterday, Jean Delson arrived in the US. Late last night, the US government released him to my brother-in-law Scott. He's now on his way back to Oshkosh, and should be here this afternoon. However, and this is why I'm sending this email, not all of the kids in Haiti are this lucky. I think it was nineteen of the kids in the orphanage that made it out of Haiti. Five had to be left behind because they hadn't been matched with an adoptive family prior to the earthquake or otherwise didn't meet the requirements. My sister and her husband had been, and also had photographic proof of having visited Jean Delson prior to the earthquake (a requirement being imposed under this new emergency adoption process). There are other parents in the US who had been working on international adoptions, who have been approved by social workers in the US to adopt a child, yet they don't meet the requirements of this emergency process. These five children are all that are left at this orphanage. The orphanage is closing because they don't have enough children to justify staying open, and the infrastructure in Haiti is gone, they couldn't stay open if they wanted to. They don't know what they are going to do with these children. And these children aren't alone. The same story is being repeated through many other US adoption agencies and many other Haitian orphanages. There are families here approved to adopt, yet they can't adopt *these* children. And there are tens of thousands of orphans in Haiti, many of whom aren't even in orphanages, much less reputable orphanages that have a long-standing relationships with US adoption agencies. I understand why the international community is hesitant to just hand these kids out. I'm sure there are people that have less than good intent in their desire to adopt a Haitian child. However, I think the US government has the power and resources to investigate any of these other families and determine that they aren't a danger now to these children. I'm sure they also have the resources to follow-up on these placements and make sure that the children are being treated well. I urge you to contact your representatives in Congress to let them know that we need to do more for these children. I'm not advocating giving out children to anyone who asks, but I am advocating giving out children to families who have been approved to adopt a child and who want to provide a safe and loving home to the Haitian orphans. I'm advocating using the power and resources of our government to make sure that these placements meet those requirements. I'm advocating that this happen now, before more of these children die from disease, hunger, or one of the countless other dangers facing them in the post-earthquake devastated Haiti. I'll step off my soapbox now. If you want to read a happy story, check out my sister's blog of this process going back all the way to 2007: http://itbringsmegreatjoy.blogspot.com/ However, we all need to act, take a few minutes to fire off an email or give a call to our representatives in Congress. The news media likes to cover these happy homecoming stories, but they aren't telling you about the children being left behind due to bureaucratic technicalities. Thanks for reading. Chris Meyer"